Sooo... Tell me about yourself? - I thought I had the perfect answer to this 3-4 years ago but the older I get, the more confused I am. Who am I really as a person? & most importantly, what am I even being asked? Is it my personality I'm supposed to describe or what my hobbies are? Can I tell you everything about myself, every little detail, but leave out the depression that haunts me in the nights? Am I supposed to elaborate why I like a certain type of music or will it do with me telling you that I'm an over analyzer and more than often create issues and problems out of nothing, just cause my mind likes to exaggerate every little situation?
I was a very shy girl in my early childhood. You know, those you never hear in the classroom, with 2-3 friends, the non-popular, the girl that was last with all girlygirly stuff every one else already had mastered. I grew up in the most asian community just to move overseas and realise how hard it was to fit in with people that had no idea that Pakistan even existed on the world map. I recall it being a tiny little problem in my daily life, the constant nagging thought of why I was so damn different than everyone else, but in reality it took over my life. I was so confused. With myself, my choice of education, friends, family - you name it.
But, I had the chance to explore all kinds of hobbies in the world, that were out of reach for a typical asian as well. A random girl in second year of college showed me her Sony camera and I was blown away. You could actually take pictures of other things than your annoying little shit cousin that were crying?! I got my first DSLR in 2010 - and today it has been exactly 8 years since I discovered a world through my camera. In 7th grade, when my only two friends left for another school, I found myself spending more time in the library than anywhere else, and this is where I discovered the magic of reading. I was a bookworm for almost 5 years before I stopped reading - mostly cause of lack of time - but I still remember the dystopia stories that touched that sensitive part of my heart. Talk about being creative - I wanted to touch every ounce of my creativity level. I'm 24 years old and the best thing today is DIY projects where I can spraypaint my life white again.
I don't know where I'm supposed to take you guys with all this, but one things clear: being confused has its own charm. I never liked reality in my early teens and even today it gives me a disgusting taste in my mouth when I think about it.